It's time to learn, we can't have it all

As a child, I was raised to believe that I could have whatever I wanted and I could be whatever I wanted to be if I worked hard enough for it.

 

My parents encouraged me to study hard and to work hard so that I could have the ability to fulfil my dreams of achieving a life that I desired. Of course, this is the ideal & perfect way to raise a child. 

Instil a passionate work ethic and ensure a child sees a value on everything. Rewards didn't come easy in our house, and there certainly weren't any treats (it was the 1980's)! Nor was there a naughty step or bold corner but that's for another day!

All of my closest friends were brought up with the same ethic & therefore inherently have the same life goals & rules. 

I have to start by saying - I am truly grateful for the life that I have but God, have I worked hard for it and made sacrifices along the way.

But something that I am tired of hearing and a statement that someone needs to shed some true honest light on, is the one of "you can have it all". You primarily see this throwaway statement on the likes of big marketing campaigns for female beauty products. For example, a hairspray product with a 30-something female strutting in 6 inch heels and a sharply cut suit, with a big bouncy blowdry, telling us that we can have it all and we're worth it. The thing about advertising campaigns is that we start to believe them. After all, that is their aim. But when we find ourselves falling short of "having it all", we begin to feel like we have somehow failed. The irony of the lucrative advert campaigns including the likes of Cheryl Cole, is that in the advert, she "has in all", but we all know, her reality is very different.

My role model is, and always will be, my Mum. To me, she epitomises, strong women. I often ask her - how did she do it all? 

We never wanted for anything growing up. Through blood, sweat & tears, she ensured that we had a very happy & fulfilling childhood. But recently, she told me that things were so much more different and so much more simpler when she was raising a family. In some ways, she put her own life on hold to be a wife, home maker & mother and only when I, the youngest & only girl I might add (yes, it's obvious that I'm the baby & precious girl) turned 16, did she get her life back. And she did so by going back to college to study to be a hair dresser! A life long passion that she wanted to fulfil. 

But what about women now? Can we have it all? 

What I do know about life is that we are all busy and all suffering from some level of stress. Life most certainly is far from simple and I find myself asking myself - What are we doing it for? Is this as good as it gets?

We are expected to be - high achieving business women, dedicated girlfriends/wives, loving mothers, active gym-goers, weekend party animals,  supportive friends, charity campaigners, culinary & domestic goddesses, supermodels, role models and advocates of the myth that "you can have it all".

It has taken me to my 30's to defeatedly but contently admit - no, you quite simply can't have it all.

You can achieve, every single thing on the aforementioned list, but you can't do each thing to a high standard. And part of my rearing as a child was to do something to a level of 100% or just don't do it at all! So to me, that tells me that I will choose certain items on the list to fulfil my life, and I will do those well.

Even when I look at my own personal life, 'Fakebook' would lead you to believe that I 'have it all'. Reality is a very different thing.

I, in all honesty, dedicated the last 15 years of my life to my studies and my career. This dedication meant that I didn't have time for a personal life or much of a social life. An area of my life that I plan on improving this year.

Life is not a dress rehearsal. You don't get a retake. You have been given a leading role, and it's up to you how you play it. Make your performance one that is memorable for the right reasons.

 You'll never hear someone at a funeral commenting on someone's commitment to work.

Obviously, we all need to work. But, my point is to prioritise what is important in life. And funnily enough, the important things are those that money can't buy - like family, friends & health.

It is important to create a balance in life. A work/life balance. I believe that if you have a balance, you begin to fall in love with the stressful things in work that once filled you with resentment because your life is no longer just about work. You have more of a purpose and a written schedule to stick to. When you write down a work/life balance schedule, you have an aim. You're not simply trudging from one day to the next without enjoying life.

Life is for living, do it now xx. 

The miracle of "Meso-Botox"

I recently went to see Sandra Barry in Rejuvenate in Glanmire as I had heard whispers of miracle treatments that were happening at her clinic. On my first visit to the clinic, I had a Meso facial which I wrote a blog about and was highly impressed by the results.

I had spoken to Sandra Barry about other options for my skin during this consultation. 

Being very honest, I consider myself quite lucky that my skin is plump & therefore, I'm not that susceptible to fine lines on my face. I don't have any wrinkles in the tell tale zones, around the eyes or lips but I do find that my skin & face has begun to look tired. With a hectic lifestyle & stressful career, why wouldn't it? Aside from the fact that, I'm just not getting any younger!

I do take care of my skin with regard to regularly cleansing, toning, moisturising, exfoliating, masking etc. I also ensure that I eat plenty of fruit & vegetables and drink plenty of water so that my skin stays hydrated. Because I have such a good home care routine on my face, when I decide to invest in a facial - I want a facial that cannot be done in the home environment. I want a result that won't just be the simple glow from the serum that has been gently massaged to my skin to the sounds of a harpist in a spa treatment room. I want a result that everyone will notice but not be able to fully pin down the difference.

Sandra Barry assessed my skin & in joint consultation we decided that the best step for me, would be to try a "Meso-Botox Facial"! I can imagine the word that is screaming at many of you from that last sentence is Botox?!

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Botox or any other chemical treatments are a personal choice and should not to open to criticism from the anti-Botox brigade.

The Meso Botox Facial is a treatment quite like the Meso facial that I already blogged about - but this time, there are very small amounts of Botox used. The area that I wanted to tackle was my forehead area. I wanted my forehead to be slightly raised and pulled back so that my eyes would open up more. When we studied my face, the reason I looked tired was because my eyes were beginning to weigh down & were not as bright & open. During the facial, there were about 20-25 tiny little injections just under the surface of the skin - not into the muscle like regular Botox. They looked like little bee-stings after the treatment but soon settled down. 

The purpose of the treatment is for it to look natural. If you have been treated by the right person - you will look well rested! If you look frozen - a bad job has been done.

Please EXCUSE the picture in my mismatched pyjamas but I just wanted to use it as a point of illustration. In the above picture, the only make up that I have on is lipstick. This picture was taken a few days after the Meso Botox when the effects had started working & I personally was truly thrilled with the results.

As many of you know, I'm in hospital, after having an operation and even the doctors have said "for someone sick, you look great - especially your skin!"!! But, that's my little secret that they don't need to know!!

Until next time,

Sandra xxx. 

https://www.facebook.com/Rejuvenate-Clinic-Glanmire-181427128707125/

Growing old gracefully? Learn to be graceful please....

I have always found it interesting and irritating, how, in particular females are very quick to judge other females with regard to appearance. 

Time and time again, when we hear the shock horror of "Botox", you will inevitably hear someone tut, and say "I just don't know why people can't age gracefully?". 

Firstly, a person who utters such a sentence is displaying the complete opposite traits and qualities of grace. But secondly, it is up to each individual person, how they chose to age - or in fact not age.

It has to be noted that times have advanced. Particularly in the area of medicine & science and there are treatments that quite simply did not exist 100 years ago. These treatments will continue to advance and it really is a personal choice to each individual as to whether they chose to have treatments or not. 

Of course, I am sure we have all seen people who have gone that little step too far when it comes to cosmetic work but the reality of 'good cosmetic work' is that, people shouldn't even recognise that it has been done. The perfect result is that of looking as if one has had a very good nights sleep and for their face to look bright & awake.

I just think that people should learn to stop criticing someone's personal choice with regard to how they look after their body. How would it feel for someone to be on the opposite end of the scale and being told they look haggered & wretched! Yes, they say each line, especially laughter lines, tell a story of life. And each frown line shows a stress of raising children as they were younger. Just for the record, Botox and fillers don't erase your memory.

So ladies, embrace who you are. I do believe that beauty is on the inside and it shines through if you are a good person with a good soul. 

What is Endometriosis?

This blog, is quite a personal one and a difficult one for me to write. But I am doing so, as I really wish to tell my story as I know that there are thousands of women suffering in silence and also many more that have not been properly diagnosed. I feel that it is important for more knowledge to be available about the disease and also for people to feel that it is ok to talk about it.

I also felt it very appropriate to write this blog now, as March is worldwide, Endometriosis Awareness Month so I am using my blog as an opportunity to try & create more information, education & discussion into an autoimmune disease that causes horrific pain & suffering to millions of women.

I was officially diagnosed with Endometriosis almost exactly 1 year ago. To be fair to my GP, when I went to him & explained my symptoms, he prescribed pain medication but recommended automatic referral to a gynaecologist. Symptoms of endometriosis vary from person to person but my symptoms included -

Severe period pain

Excruciating pain during bowel movement or on urination

Lower back pain 

Extreme levels of exhaustion 

Dizziness 

General lethargy & feeling unwell

Swelling in the abdomen

Vomiting

It got to the stage where getting out of the bed due to excruciating pain & extreme tiredness became an almost insurmountable task.

The only way that endometriosis can be diagnosed & confirmed is by laparoscopic surgery.

The gynaecologist that I chose carried out a laparoscopy under general anaesthetic, burned off the endometriosis that was visible and inserted the coil. He recommended the coil in the hope that by not having a period, the endometriosis symptoms would be masked.

Unfortunately, my body rejected the coil. I began retaining fluid to the point that my shoes wouldn't fit, my jewellery such as rings, bangles & watches wouldn't go on my hands due to the water retention & weight gain. 

After 5 months of having the coil in, I asked the gynaecologist to remove it & decided to revert to the pill - but taking the packets back to back.

I thought after having surgery, the symptoms would be gone but unfortunately, they were back but by now, the pain is worse than ever.

I am very lucky that one of my best friends suffers with endometriosis and so I have a close confidant that I can turn to when going through a nasty flair up of pain & suffering. She has been in the exact same position as I am in & is truly wonderful in guiding me & reassuring me that things will get better.

In the past few weeks, I have found one of the top laparoscopic surgeons in the country who feels that I definitely need far more extensive surgery to locate the endometriosis that is currently causing the excruciating pain. I am due to have this surgery in May so I am hopeful and optimistic that he will be able to successfully operate so that I get relief.

Although, the difficult part of endometriosis is that, when I had a consultation with him 2 weeks ago, I asked if that would be the end of it, the pain would be gone once he operated. Slowly, he looked at me with a grave demeanour & said "Sandra, has this not been explained to you? Endometriosis is a life long condition. This is your new normal. There is no cure for endometriosis. We can manage your pain & try to prevent any of the severe complications but we can't take it away". 

The advise I would give anyone who thinks they have endometriosis or have been accurately diagnosed with endometriosis is to have the best possible medical team in place for your care.

1) You need an understanding, knowledgeable, sympathetic & kind GP. Your GP is your primary care giver and will be responsible for putting a pain management system in place so that you can live your life to the best of your ability. I believe that my GP, Dr Nick Flynn, is one of the best in the country and I'm fortunate to have him! He has a great team & they are located in Cork City. 

https://www.facebook.com/Union-Quay-Medical-Centre-240093256114880/

2) Do extensive research when it comes to finding a gynaecologist. Look for testimonials. Find patients that have been treated by him/her. Ensure endometriosis is one of their areas of expertise! Honestly, I could not stress this to you enough. Doing your homework before you see a consultant is of the upmost importance. You need to be 100% confident that you are putting your body into the hands of someone who has the expertise in the area of surgery required.

As I said at the beginning of this blog, this one is very personal to me. I am not writing it to get sympathy or pity but to quite simply create more awareness. If I have helped one person by writing this, it will have been a successful blog.

Sandra xxx.

Oh my Olaplex

They say that your hair is your crowning glory & in many ways, I agree.

I am very lucky that I have naturally very thick & rapidly growing hair but it hasn't always been that way.

A few years ago, I suffered with a condition called alopecia areta, which meant that I lost my hair in a few patches on my scalp. This happened completely out of the blue & really did cause awful stress as I was worried sick that I would lose all of my hair - which can happen in cases of alopecia.

However, with a very healthy diet & a strict prescription of vitamins - the patches of baldness, grew back within a few months. 

Since that episode of alopecia, I have been really conscious of looking after my hair & my skin. 

Whenever I am run down or if I have been any way ill, my hair will shown the signs. With any bout of sickness, my hair will become very knotted, very dull & really lack a healthy appearance. My hair is also very susceptible to having fairly dramatic seasonal changes - and by that, I mean, as Summer changes to Winter, my hair will shed quite a lot. But luckily I'm at a point where I have plenty of hair so I can afford the shedding. It always amazes me how that shedding doesn't happen on my legs or bikini but, c'est la vie.

I do however consider myself to be very fortunate to have one of the best hairdressers in the country, Sabrina Hill of Kopper Hair, Glanmire, Cork, looking after my hair - in particular, the condition of my hair.

I would have always been very haphazard in my approach to the products that I used on my hair. The way I felt was that, once you got a good cut & colour in the salon, any shampoo & conditioner worked fine in the home care. Sure, that's why they're on the shelves of the supermarket & pharmacies, isn't it? But, clearly I was wrong. 

How it was identified by Sabrina was that she noticed that my colour was fading very fast - within a few weeks of being in the salon after having fresh colour applied. She also commented on the feel of the texture of my hair and felt that it was coated in product. So when I told her what I had been using (multiple shop shampoos), she asked me to fully clear them & move on to shampoos & conditioners that do not contain sulphites. Apparently sulphites destroy salon colour & also put a coating on the hair shaft causing a dull & lacklustre appearance. I now use Joico which I get in the salon in Glanmire.

In recent weeks though, Sabrina has started me on a new treatment called Olaplex. I have the home treatment which I put into my hair when it's dry. I then leave it in (preferably over night) & then wash & condition as normal in the morning.

From using the Olaplex, my hair is noticeably shinier, healthier & styles much better when I'm having it done in the salon. 

The initial Olaplex treatment phase begins in the salon but I love the fact that I can do one of the phases at home.

My hair is in amazing condition from using this product & it's definitely one that I will keep on using to maintain the current state of my hair.

Olaplex is an exclusive product with limited stockists but it is available in Kopper Hair, Glanmire, Cork. 

For further information, call Kopper on -

021 4820692

Check out their Facebook -

https://www.facebook.com/kopperhair.glanmire/

The Secret Facial for Eternal Youth

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As I sit to write this post, I do so with mixed emotions.

One 1 hand, I am literally bubbling with excitement & enthusiasm as I feel that I may have finally found the facial that will truly revolutionarize skincare and our ability to maintain a youthful image.

On the other hand, I want to be selfish, and keep this secret within a very close circle. Almost like a sorority. The kind of sorority with perfect skin & hair.

In fact, if I'm very honest, this is how I found out about Sandra Barry of Rejuvenate in Glanmire.

Whilst I was socialising recently, I was complaining about how I was finding that my skin was becoming very tired. I felt that my usual skincare routine - which is very good - just wasn't quite cutting it. My fail proof foundation, equally wasn't coming up to par. Deep down, I knew the reason but I didn't want to say it out loud. If I keep it quiet, it's not happening, right? 

But, one of my closest friend said it. It was like a missile had been shot at close range - and it was directed right at me. "Sandra, your skin is beginning to age & you need to take action". Boom - the missile exploded. She then, quietly & discreetly placed a business card in the side pocket of my handbag & told me to call that number. 

So this morning, I found myself in the treatment room of Sandra Barry. Rejuvenate is a very specialised clinic where the facials that are done are results driven. Personally, I don't tend to go for facials that consist of cleansing, scrubs & masks as I feel that I can do that facial myself at home with investment in the right products.

I want a facial that I can see a noticeable change in the tone & texture of my skin. The facial that I had done this morning was from the Meso Vytal range. 

The purpose of Meso is to reduce wrinkles and facial expression lines. It is perfect for dull, tired and dehydrated skin and will visibly lighten it up. The treatment exposes waste and fully activates the skins metabolism.

The treatment itself took approximately 1 hour and consisted of the initial cleansing, followed by a chemical peel. After the chemical peel, was when the magic happened with the meso machine where a needle goes around on a small tip to fill the skin with the hyaluronic acid. After this, the skin is treated with laser. Overall, the treatment was very comfortable. 

In all honesty, I was very nervous pre treatment as any mention of a needle leaves me trembling but I can say that at no point during the treatment did I experience any pain.

That areas treated were my full face and also my neck.

There are a number of options available but Sandra Barry will do this by assessment and consultation.

Today, I had the Meso Advanced Facial which costs €150 and I can see very definite results - only after one treatment.

I will definitely return to Sandra Barry as the Meso Botox facial has very much taken my fancy!!

So girls, welcome to the Secret Sorority of Everlasting Youthful Skin. You can thank me later xxx. 

https://www.facebook.com/Rejuvenate-Clinic-Glanmire-181427128707125/

47 Barrymore Court,

Sallybrook,

Glanmire,

Co. Cork

087 6895611

My Invisalign Journey So Far

After years of not being 100% happy with my smile, I decided that this year would be the year that I would address it.

I have suffered with a very painful over bite for years, have some over lapping teeth at the front of my smile & some gaps between teeth at the side of my mouth.

After exploring the different options available to me, I decided that Invisalign with Ortho Specialists would be the perfect option.

I made an appointment to have a consultation with Dr. Owen Crotty who is a specialist orthodontist based in Douglas in Cork. 

Dr. Crotty has years of experience in this field and from the initial consultation, I knew that I would not find a better orthodontist to treat me. He is exceptionally trained but he's also highly realistic as to what he can achieve.

Once I had committed to the Invisalign process, Dr. Crotty took impressions of my teeth and sent away the moulds to have the braces made. He was even able to show me a computer generated "mock up" as to how my eventual smile would look like.

On the day of the fitting itself, I was very nervous and had mentally prepared myself for pain. I have failed to tell you so far, that from a previous bad experience a few years back, I am a desperate patient when it comes to dental work! The full team at Dr. Crotty's clinic were very understanding of my fear and very kind. I need not have worked myself up though as it was completely pain free and over within 10 minutes.

Invisalign are a clear plastic brace that quite simply click on over your teeth.

They ideally stay on your teeth for 22 hours per day and just come out for eating or drinking (hot liquids).

Every 2 weeks, you get a new set of braces for your teeth. The shape constantly changing as your teeth move.

With regard to pain, there is slight discomfort on the evening that they get changed every fortnight, but nothing that a few OTC pain medication can't relieve.

With the process, I did have a set back for quite a few weeks that was disappointing. When Dr. Crotty carried out X-Ray's during the treatment, he found quite a severe infection in a root canal that had been completed by a previous dentist. As a result, I needed to have the root canal removed, treated for infection and have a new crown fitted. Because of the extent of the infection, it took a prolong period of time to have the work completed, hence why I was delayed with moving forward with my Invisalign journey.

However, I consider myself very lucky that Dr. Crotty found the infection before it became a more serious issue.

I still have a few months left in my process and I will keep you posted but for anyone thinking or wishing for that perfect smile - I highly recommend Ortho-Specialists!

http://www.smilerevolution.ie/

http://crottyorthodontics.ie/