Are we designed to be monogamous?

Are we designed to be monogamous?

While out walking with the girls this week, one of the topics we discussed was whether or not monogamous relationships were something of the past. The conversation surrounded the topic of whether or not we considered it realistic to have one life long partner or would we think it an unrealistic dream - or something that we didn't actually want.

I suppose in my own experience when I look back at all of the different guys that I have dated, they are all very different. All of them came along at different stages in my life and different phases. I have changed quite significantly as an individual over the years, but then, haven't we all?

When I look back at the different men, I struggle to believe that any of them would be compatible with me right now and where I am as a person. Physically, we would have changed quite drastically in 12 years so even if the personalities remained compatible - would there be mutual attraction?

I suppose, this is why I would be somewhat sceptical of meeting a partner at a young age and remaining with them for life. I, as a person, would have a significantly different personality from that of my 18 year old self. My core values and morals would be the same but I as an individual have evolved and matured. Therefore, some things that I might have enjoyed and found interesting in my 20's, I no longer value. Likewise with the past men that I dated - I have outgrown some of their personalities.

When I thought deeper about the possibility of it not being realistic to meet a partner for life at a young age - my attention was brought to my girlfriends.

I have some friends that have been in my life since I was 4 years old. We grew up together. Went through all major life milestones together to date and even though we don't live close to each other anymore, when we do talk, it is like we have never been apart. So, even though we are in each other's lives since we were very small children, we have grown up together and rather than growing apart, we just grew up comfortably and happily together, our friendship remaining as strong as ever. I am sure that we have all got life long friends like that, where rather than a friendship growing apart, you just grow closer together.

Some other of my friends from school days have then just simply, drifted apart. We outgrew each other. We no longer had the same interests and no desire to remain in a solid friendship and therefore rather than any big dramatic break up, we simply stopped meeting up. There are also my relatively new group of friends - or those relationships that developed within my adult life. Those friendships would be just as close emotionally and mentally as the life long friend, even though the longevity wouldn't be there. I suppose, they are quality over quantity somewhat.

So ultimately, men are just like our girlfriends in our life. In a lifetime, I truly believe that if you have 4 friends, you are a very lucky individual. Everyone else you meet, is an acquaintance along the way. Some people meet the man of their dream early in life and they grow up together. More of us are meeting acquaintances while we wait for our male best friend and partner to arrive. Or maybe, in the words of Carrie Bradshaw "our girlfriends are our soul mates and men are people to have the fun with".